JustVim Ninja Assasin Movie Review

Synopsis: Raizo (Rain) is one of the deadliest assassins in the world. Taken from the streets as a child, he was transformed into a trained killer by the Ozunu Clan, a secret society whose very existence is considered a myth. But haunted by the merciless execution of his friend by the Clan, Raizo breaks free from them…and vanishes. Now he waits, preparing to exact his revenge. In Berlin, Europol agent Mika Coretti has stumbled upon a money trail linking several political murders to an underground network of untraceable assassins from the Far East. Defying the orders of her superior, Ryan Maslow, Mika digs into top secret agency files to learn the truth behind the murders. Her investigation makes her a target, and the Ozunu Clan sends a team of killers, led by the lethal Takeshi, to silence her forever. Raizo saves Mika from her attackers, but he knows that the Clan will not rest until they are both eliminated. Now, entangled in a deadly game of cat and mouse through the streets of Europe, Raizo and Mika must trust one another if they hope to survive…and finally bring down the elusive Ozunu Clan.

When a movie's first scene shows one thug getting the top of his head sliced off and another being chopped diagonally in half, you know you're not in for much of a dramatic crescendo. There was so much fighting in the dark, with lights going out all the time, like the Assassins were the electricians who knew exactly where the switches and whatnot!

You know, heads may roll, torsos get severed and geysers of blood spurt, but no amount of CGI-gore can save 'Ninja Assassin' from being dramatically lame, visually impaired and kinetically flat-footed. It was like James Mcteigue wanted the audience to have their thumbs aching form the controllers of a bloody, senseless, plot-evaporating, mindless gore game.

Ninja Assassin is wildly improbable and completely unrealistic, but it's also bloody good fun for the gore fanatics who love blood more than vampires. I mean, two-foot long, Samurai Sword-inflicted lacerations healing with Rain’s incredible meditation? Talk about realism, this film has more nonsense than blood. Blood spurts out of every imaginable orifice without a respectable clot in sight. Welcome to the poorly-scripted gush-fest, perfect for the Xbox set -- it's not a film, it's Grand Theft Ninja.

Rain and Harris are decent and there are moments of stylized lunacy that nearly work, but Ninja Assassin is a film that falls apart as soon as you think about any single element of it. With no proper sense of killing, no roots to fall back on, no idea what some scenes were for and no continuation in action, this is one poorly scripted film which tries vainly to ride on Rain’s perfect Abs and nicely-sculptured body.

For what is worth, it is really funny to note the use of immense firepower and force on a small temple of Ninjas at the final scene just as Raizo was about to be executed. I mean, you sure you really need 0.50 calibre high-power assault machine guns, so much explosives and highly-trained soldiers to combat a troop of masked men? To be frank, the throwing stars the ninjas threw were really much more effective and powerful, who cares about rifles and 0.50 calibres? And just for the record, shouldn't throwing stars be silent? If they're going to sound like gunshots, why not just use guns?

Probably the only fight scene worth a mention is the final one between Raizo and his master. The JustVim Crew has never seen so much gore, blood and guts spilled by Rain --- and him miraculously still surviving to go “nuts” and turn invisible to destroy his master. Sword dynamics, screenplay and lighting were horrible and if you think you are going to enjoy the swishing and kungfu, think twice, you probably won’t see a thing as the CGI-animated blood fills the screen and blackness covers up most of the juicy parts --- Mcteigue probably wanted to save the film’s lack of discipline and senseless plot from the critics!

It's a gorefest, a borefest and a snorefest. But for the ladies who wanted to see Rain’s physique, beware the scars and blood smeared all over him, it is not as appealing as you want.

The JustVim Crew
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